Lead Worship

May 26, 2009

Posted on May 26th, 2009 by Brian Sparks.
Categories: My Life.

I felt like a dead man all day. Its like I enjoy what I do, you know, worship leading and all. But I feel just so dead. Not in a tired sort of way but more in a depressed sort of way. The first reaction is to move on. Just move away from the stress and the problems. But that’s not right. I surrendered to God so He is the one who is in control over that. But I do feel alive the more I talk about church planting. Do I really want to lead worship right now? No, and yes, but mainly no. I guess the best way to describe it is, I really just want to be used. I don’t feel like anything that I am doing is actually making a difference in peoples lives and nothing matters for the kingdom.

Although, Isaiah when through the same issues, I take very little comfort. Its as though I stand at a cross road. I will either suck it up and keep going straight, take another road to get to a different church (but will it take me in the same direction as right now? Will I be feel useful in a few years there?), I could take off in a totally different direction (full time church planting, full time media assisting a church plant, full time pastoring, back to school, finish my pysch degree). I don’t know.

This week, I have made it a priority to get back on track with scripture memorization. Hopefully I can get it back up and running.

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