Lead Worship

unChristian – Chapter 8: Judgmental

Posted on June 30th, 2008 by Brian Sparks.
Categories: unchristian.

“Christians talk about hating sin and loving sinners, but the way they go about things, they might as well call it what it is. Thyey hate the sin and the sinner” (page 181).

“Respondents to our surveys believe Christians are trying, consciously or not, to justify feelings of moral and spiritual superiority. One outsider described it like this: ‘Christians like to hear themselves talk. They are arrogant about their beliefs, but they never bother figuring out what other people acutally think. They don’t see to be very compassionate, especially when they feel strongly about something’” (page 182).

“To be judgemental is to point out something that is wrong in someone else’s life, making the person feel put down, excluded, and marginalized” (page 182).

“Our research shows that do-it-yourself morality is gaining momentum, and it is the way most Mosaics and Busters sift through moral decisions” (page 183).

“Yet an entire generation of those inside and outside the church are questioning our motives as Christians. They believe we are more interested in proving we are right than that God is right. They say Christians are more focused on condemning people than helping people become more like Jesus” (page 184).

“The perception is that Christians are known more for talking about these issues than doing anything about them”(page 184).

“In a recent study, we asked outsiders, churchgoers, and pastors to describe whether they perceive Christian churches to be loving environments, places where people are unconditionally loved and accepted regardless of how they look or what they do. Only one out of five outsiders said they perceived churches in this way. Surprisingly, few2er than half of churchgoers, including born-again Christians, felt strongly that their church demonstrates unconditional love” (page 185).

“Are we trying to please God or polishing our holy credentials in front of fellow insiders?” (page 186).

“In addition to Jesus’s cautionary words, the Bible makes it clear that God, not humans, should judge. It is God’s job, and he does it impartially while exposing the true motives of people’s hearts” (page 192).

“We have to start seeing ourselves and those around us for the people we really are-needy and hurting but with great potential as God’s sons and daughters. Maybe thenwe would reject arrogance as adamantly as we do any other sin, because it is especially corrosive to the faith of Christ followers” (page 193).

“Outsiders understand the nuances of differenct situations, and we discovered that, when their Christian peers gave them input within the context of relationship and with respect, in general they appreciated it. Human beings are attracted to acceptance and genuine respect: they are repelled by rejection and an air of superiority.
“Outsiders suggested the following guidelines for facilitating mutual esteem:

1. Listen to me.
2. Don’t label me. Using terms that put people into boxes is generally offensive to people. Words like ‘lost,’ ‘pagans,’ and ‘nonbelievers’ are not particularly endearing.
3. Don’t be so smart. Don’t pretend to have all the answers.
4. Put yourself in my place. Christians seem to be concerned only about what people do or don’t do-such as whether they go to church and have acceptable behaviors. But outsiders want you to understand some of the things they have suffered and gone through.
5.  Be genuine
6. Be my friend with no other motives. Outsiders say they sometimesget the feeling that Christians have befriended them with the ulterior motive of getting them into church. (page 194).

“We need to move beyond expecting people to behave according to our expectations, and instead try to help connect them to God’s purposes” (page 195).

“There is someone I love, even though I don’t approve of what he does. There is someone I accept, though some of his thoughts and actions revolt me. There is someone I forgive, though he hurts the people I love the most. That person is me. There are plenty of things I do that I don’t like, but if I can love myself without approving of all I do, I can also love others without approving of all they do” (Jud Wilhite, page 198).

“One of our weaknesses is that we’re far more concerned with being right than being righteous. We become like the Pharisees whenever we focus on issues rather than people” (Margaret Feinberg, page 200).

“I’m perplexed at how anyone can hear the story of Jesus dying in our place and rescuing us out of our helplessness and have it produce arrogance in their life” (Rick McKinley, page 201).

“Grace is our central issue, and for us to simply ignore this finding will certainly be our unhinging. We will slide down the slippery slope toward irrelevance, and our message of the gospel will no longer be credible in our culture. Why? Because it appears at some level that the secular world is capable of ‘doing grace’ better than we are. Chrsitianity’s main export has been co-opted by nonbelievers”(Mike Foster, page 202).

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